Grace

I wound up being discharged from the hospital in Lawrence after a couple of days, and it was incredible to see Cecilia in Kansas City. She was still in pretty rough shape when Nora and I got to Children's, but she was stable, and getting better. Each day it seemed they took her off of another medication. She had been on anti-seizure meds, as she'd had a number of seizures in the two days directly following her birth. After a few days, she was only on antibiotics to get rid of her infection.

The doctors performed an MRI after she's been in Kansas City for a few days, and it showed some diffused damage to her brain from the lack of oxygen before she was resuscitated directly following her birth. That was some pretty hard news to swallow. The doctors kept telling us how resilient babies are, and it turned out they were right - a week later they performed another MRI, and all of the damage had disappeared. Aaron and I would like to thank everyone reading this who said a prayer for her, because she is the greatest miracle I can imagine.

The whole hospital stay is a blur. We were there two weeks. For the first week or so, Aaron and I stayed in the Ronald McDonald House across the street. For the second week, I was able to sleep in a room with Cecilia, but Aaron still had to stay in the Ronald McDonald house. The Ronald McDonald House was wonderful; I can't say enough good things about it, and how nice everyone was to Aaron and I while we were there. During this whole time, Nora was driving back and forth between Lawrence and Kansas City every day. I really don't know what we would have done if Nora hadn't been there. She provided us with sanity during a completely insane time in our lives. We had tons of support from friends - Brian and Belinda visited us a number of times, as did lots of other friends from KU and Burns and MacDonnell. I've never recieved so many phone calls and notes of support from friends and family, near and far.

It seems the hospital stay was in another life, and really it was only a couple of weeks ago that we got to come home. Coming home with Ceci was the best thing ever.

Since coming home, we've had the chance to adjust to "normal" life as new parents. We're starting to fall into a schedule of sorts... and we're finally starting to feel like parents. It's kind of weird how that feeling doesn't happen instantaneously. We loved Ceci from the get-go, but it's taken time for me to feel like a real mom. She seems absolutely better. She is such a joy in our lives.

So, anyway, this is all why her middle name is Grace. Before the birth, we'd talked about using "Rose" or "Irene" as a middle name. However, when we were in the nursery at Lawrence Memorial Hospital, it was very clear that she was with us by the grace of God alone.

One month old

What Happened, Part I

Nothing about Ceci's delivery went as planned. It even started with a surprise - my water broke at 10:00 p.m. in the evening of August 16th at home. We rushed to get to the hospital, and by the time we'd gotten there an hour later, contractions were terribly strong. When we checked in, they found that I had a very high fever and a uterine infection. In addition, my blood pressure had gone from completely normal throughout the entire pregnancy to through the ceiling due to sudden onset of preeclampsia.

Labor went very quickly for the first couple of hours. The contractions had built so quickly that I didn't feel like I could keep up. The fever had given me the uncontrollable shakes, and I couldn't concentrate on any of the breathing techniques Aaron and I had practiced. So, I caved... I had hoped not to get an epidural, but it turned out to be the best thing ever. It stopped the shaking, and it was complete relief. I even slept for about a half hour before we had to start pushing. We pushed forever - three or four hours. Cecilia was oriented face-up rather than face-down, which complicated things even more. She was having a very hard time fitting through my pelvis. On top of that, she had a very short umbilical cord which wouldn't let her descend as easily as it should have. Since my blood pressure was haywire, and Ceci had certainly caught my infection, the doctor decided to perform a vacuum delivery. After a lot of pushing, Cecilia was born at 6:05 a.m., but she was not breathing and did not have a heartbeat.

Aaron and I were hysterical. The doctors were performing CPR, and after what seemed like hours, they resuscitated her, and immediately transferred her to the nursery. We were allowed to see her a couple of hours later, and her vitals were stable. She was the most beautiful sight I have ever seen.

The doctor decided to transfer her to Children's Mercy in Kansas City. Aaron went to Kansas City as soon as he could, and was able to be with her in the NICU. I was stuck in the Lawrence hospital until Tuesday.

Thankfully, Aaron's mom, Nora, flew out to Lawrence on Sunday night, and she was able to stay with me in the hospital until I was discharged on Tuesday. It was wonderful to have her there.

2 weeks and 2 days old...